How Did I Get Here?


At this moment and time in my life I have found myself in a place that I never ever thought I would be in at the age of 24. I am working a job I never thought I would find myself in (call centre? How did I go from never doing a desk job to being at one all day with a headset on my head?) As well never thought I would be working in customer service (since I very much do not believe in "customer service"). Included in this never-thought train of thinking is that I also never figured I would be single, living at home and overall questioning any and all of the decisions I have made in the past. The biggest one the hell did I get here?!

The answer is pretty simple. Life.

Life happens and sometimes it kicks you off the track you would like to stay on and throws you into a completely different direction. Sometimes this will be a fantastic and easy path but it will lack lessons because well...easy situations rarely come with life lessons that stay with you. Other times it is going to throw you on a path that beats you half to death and leaves you lying on the side of the road yet this path will come with so many lessons and opportunities that you can take to grow and know yourself long as you are willing to take those lessons. But keep in mind, these lessons may suck to go through and make you want to just throw your hands up in the air and yell "screw it!”. For me my lessons have come from many places but most notably from being disappointed by others, namely people that I loved and cared for. I have always invested a lot of myself into friendships and other relationships. I would be there is they needed me and stay with them for hours to help them through situations or moments happening in their lives. I cared and was willing to put off my things for them. I quickly learned that just because you do this...does not mean they will and in the end I had to put an end to many friendships and adjust others because I realized I was becoming nothing more than a doormat or punching bag. Worst part of it was if I had a problem...they had no time for it. Even if it was a situation that had me spiralling into a dangerous emotional place it was like they could not be bothered. This lesson sucked. Period. There is no other way I can describe it. It pushed me into a non-trusting state of mind and a lot of self-deprecating.

But through these lessons I learned how to focus truly on myself. Which I had never done.

Which leads me to where I am now.

How did I get here?

I got here because of life, I got to this place where I am now because I was meant to be here. I am meant to be in this job (even though I have zero patient for customer service...plainly I have no patient for ignorance, rudeness, entitlement, or inflated ego's...all of which you encounter continuously in the realm of customer service) because this job is paying for my dream that is on its way to coming to fruition. That I will touch on in another post.

So yes. I may be in a job I find tedious. A love life that is dry. Living with my mom at 24. Going back to school. BUT...because I learned those hard and ugly lessons, I am now pursuing things that make me happy and dreams I have had since childhood! A dream that will be coming true in only a matter of months. This job is paying for it. I am single because dating right now would be pointless. And soon I will not be living at my mothers, instead I will be on my own in a new and vibrant city.

How did I get here?

I put myself here for a purpose without even realizing this... I put myself into a life I never thought I would have or wanted in order to achieve a life I have only ever dreamed of. Sure right now is hard, but try to find the silver lining in it…or find a reason for it. If worst come to worst the beauty of being human is you can change. Sure you may be where you are now but if you really want to and really ready, you can change your situation into something amazing.

xoxo Nicole

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