I Am Awesome ( So Are You...Don't You Worry)

13:12

We suck at giving ourselves real compliments. We really suck at it. We find it much easier to look in the mirror and pick ourselves apart then look in the mirror and say “Hey I really like my________” or “I am really good at ________”. We are much quicker at ripping ourselves down and pointing out every little tiny flaw that most likely only we see in ourselves and others may not notice. Until we point it out. Because we have to. Because it is there. Because we need the validation of someone else seeing it and telling us we are wrong and blah blah blah.

Personally I do not get it.

This need for validation from the third party in order to feel good about ourselves. When we were kids we just did what we wanted, dressed how we wanted and ate what we wanted (to an extent of course…we would eat what our parents gave us but let’s be honest we would trade those sandwiches for Twinkies and Wagon Wheels all the time) and we did not care. We did not care! We did all these things because we liked and enjoyed it that was all the mattered. To be blunt I really miss this and seeing it in other people.

High school is the worst when it comes to this and I believe that this is where the real “transformation“ begins. Peers are harsher and friends even worse. What you liked began to be dictated by what others thought. From fellow students, to teachers and now the introduction of the media and its own influence on the minds of very impressionable teenagers (but do not tell them that…they know everything remember). Suddenly many of the things you liked or even loved would be placed on the back burner in a fear of being not accepted or you began to “being interested” in the things that others around you were just to be accepted and viewed as popular or even just normal. When I look back at how I was back in high school I am extremely confused by who I was. I hung out with a group of fun individuals but when I really think about it they were not people I really had shared interests with and many I would not associate with now…I pretended to be interested in many of the things they were into because I was in a hard place in my personal life and found it easier to pretend then embrace myself. I grew to have a negative attitude like many of them had, gained weight and had a very narrow minded outlook on things. On top of that I would scoff at the “pretty girls” (what a stupid outlook!). I didn’t do the things I wanted because they would tell me not to…I had always wanted to try out for cheerleading but never did because I feared their jeers and that they would treat me differently.

High school. What a cluster***.
 
 
                                                                    Got to love high school.....
                                                           Only changed a little... :p                                           
 
Sadly though for many people this continues into even their adult life. I am happy and proud to say that now I am very much me. It took many years of struggles and self-growth but now I like what I like, do what I want and damn all the people who don’t agree because it is my life and I am allowed to live it how I want! I am me and it is a wonderful feeling. I wish others could feel how I feel and be happy for who they are and embrace themselves as well as work towards being their best selves! This is not the case though, as I previously stated sadly many people continue to struggle with this into their adult lives. I feel it comes from a feeling of inadequacy and self-doubt. Never trusting you are enough or that other’s will like you for you and trying so hard to be that person you think other’s will like and respect. I had a friend for many years and all those years she wore a mask. Even admitted it by accident once. She was a different person depending on who she was with and would try so hard with new people to get them to like her that it would simply turn them off. Whenever I would introduce her to some of my friend’s they found it so hard to be around her because it was clearly obvious she was not being herself…she was trying to be a person they would like rather than simply being herself. It was so frustrating. She was different with her family, with family friends, with her boyfriend, with one group of friends and then with the other group of friends and of course with me. After ten years of friendship when I look back I realize that I really do not know if I knew the real girl…or just one of her masks and that is very sad to think.

I do not get it.

Why be so scared of yourself! Why do we suck so much at loving ourselves and nurturing ourselves with compliments, chasing our dreams and respecting ourselves? As if being hurtful towards ourselves benefits us!

All I can say about this is that it is a sad thing and only creates angry, unhappy, rude, resentful, insecure and negative people who in the end take joy from other’s misfortunes because they are so unhappy with themselves and their own lives. Life sometimes throws you curve balls, hard times…and let’s been honest many of us have not felt real fear and danger like it exists in parts of our world…so why make it harder for yourself by being your number one enemy? Think about it! Stop sucking and start being your number one fan!

 
Sure it may taking ending some friendships, changing some habits and taking some small (and massive) risks but what is the point of living life if you are not loving yourself…which leads you to living life to the fullest! Do not put aside your own dreams, loves, likes, wants, hopes and interests for the validation of others. In the end if does not benefit you. Only hinder. Treating yourself as your number one fan is not an ego-trip…it is a healthy mentality.

 
                                             Nothing should be easier then just being you!

 

Number one! Number one! Oi oi oi!

xoxo *** Nicole
feel free to leave comments, ask questions, like or share <3

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4 comments

  1. Love this post, you are so right! I was too much of a people pleaser in high school and now I think "for what?". When its all said and done with graduation none of that matters and we all grow up. I am definitely more myself than I was in HS. Great writing btw. Check out my blog if ya like :)
    kdferrero.blogspot.com

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    Replies
    1. Thank you! It is always nice to hear the opinions of others. I really agree...I wanted to draw the connection between how much high school shapes some people and how they often refuse to just move forward and in a way...grow up.
      Love your comment

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  2. I really agree. I didn't find "high school" (secondary school is what we called it) that bad but for sure the first couple of years out of there I was a formless mess that had no idea what my real opinions were. Thankfully grew out of that! I hope everyone does, sooner or later.

    Great post!

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    1. Exactly, that was my point. Pointing out how we often leave a shell of the person we actually are. It is such a influence part of our lives due to the age we are at, at that time. I am so glad you grew out of it as well :)
      Thank you for the positive feed back!

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thelovelytwentysomethings.com is owned and run by Nicola Mora