Lets talk about confidence.
I am going to be clear from the start that I truly believe that confidence begins from the inside and then crawls it's way out to show on your outwards appearance.

You cannot fake confidence.

Confidence is not in the clothes you wear, the hairstyle you rock or the friends you keep. It is found in the words you say, the thoughts you think and the things you do. Sure you do need a certain level of confidence to rock a certain style but lets be honest...that usually comes from a need of attention then real confidence. Real confidence comes from self-love. I preach this all the time and I am pretty sure it gets annoying to hear but it is so incredibly true! Self-love and confidence go hand in hand and you cannot have one without the other. Real confidence is not loud, pompous or extravagant.

Real confidence is a quiet truth within yourself where you know you have nothing to prove so therefor...you do not try.

Real confidence is being able to stand your ground without yelling "b**** I do what I want". No...you just do instead.

Real confidence is being able to admit when you are wrong, say sorry when you should and be there for others when they need it especially if they have been there for you in the past.

People with real confidence do not need to say it in words but in actions. They pursue their dreams, they chase what is important to them and then know when to quit.

I have been friends with many people who were really skilled at faking confidence. It was loud, forced, overwhelming and never proven through actions only claimed in words. It was so annoying because they were so contradicting with their words compared to their actions. It was so obvious that it came from a place of insecurity, a need for attention and a overwhelming self-doubt within themselves. Within all those proclamations I can say that these particular people are ones who did not pursue their dreams...instead they ended up settling, claiming that they are happy but their tone (and overwhelming amounts of negative Facebook status) would state otherwise. Anyone that I know who has real confidence are the people that are going for what they want and give of a fantastic vibe of "I got this".

How do you get this confidence? Well as I said it starts from the inside.

I used to be, for a few years, very much the opposite of confidence. Real Confidence. I was self-critical to an extreme extent and was so hard on myself that it made me sick. Everything was wrong with me, I did nothing right and no one really cared about me. Being inside my head was like being in a toxic wasteland of BS. Now it is very much the opposite and how? A incredible self-acceptance including all flaws and all positives. Throwing away silly physical hang ups and accepting that you are who you are and are capable of having and doing what you want. Just learning to love yourself which as I have said in a previous post is the hardest love to find but also the most powerful. It will open doors for you that have stayed shut for so long. Positive attracts positive. We all learned this in math and science. It applies to real life as well. I will state those things does not mean that you stop improving yourself because in life we are always changing and evolving. Physically I am always improving with how I eat and my physical activity, mentally and emotionally I am always improving by filling myself will knowledge through books and positive affirmations.

Confidence comes for then inside then resonates on the outside and there is no reason that everyone cannot be like this. It all starts with you.

xoxo Nicole

On another note I will be starting my vlog soon on Youtube! Keep your eyes peeled!

Happy Canada Day!

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  1. Hmmm. I think I'm still fairly self-critical. I find it hard to let go of that little voice. In other aspects I'm quite confident but I think it's hard to be all of one thing all of the time... Interesting post!

    1. That is the tough part...telling that little voice to get lost. It is no use to you! I am glad you found my post to be interesting...finding that real confidence is not a easy thing what-so-ever. But it is worth the work

  2. As much as confidence is a desirable trait (from both sexes), it's also one of the hardest to attain and easiest to lose, at least in my own personal experience. It's taken me quite a long time to build up confidence in myself, particularly in certain areas of my life even if I was already confident in myself in other areas.


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