Breaking Our Limits

11:29

With all the things that have been going on and the changes in my own life I have been making, the memories of my childhood  have started to pop into my mind. More how I thought as a child then anything else. This post is most likely going to be low on the humor not because the topic is serious or anything, simply because I don't think it is going to pop up.
Where was I?
Oh right when I was a child. When I was a kid I had in mind a long list of things I would do and places I would see, at that young age I had no doubt in my mind that I would achieve that whole list. I wanted it so why wouldn't it happen? That was my mentality. Little me was always very driven and focused. I started playing piano when I was four years old and was heavily involved with competitions and festivals. I would draw all the time and love doing anything with sketches, paint, or clay. I started writing at a young age as well, I think I was about nine and even before that, at the age of seven or so I found my love on ancient history mainly ancient Egypt, which I still beyond adore to this day. Little me had a list of places I would go and live. One of them clearly...was to live in London, others were to travel to Egypt and discover ruins, go to Greece and venture around Delphi. the list goes on.
I was a kid with a mind full of things to do and was always busy with my hobbies.
Then life decided to throw me a curve ball at the age of fourteen and I turned into someone that even now I do not recognize. In a strange way, at the age of twenty-five I am revisiting the child in me who loved and dreamed of so many things.
When I was a teenager and young adult I withdrew from all my hobbies. My piano, guitar and later my violin would constantly be covered in a layer of dust. My sketch books laid untouched. I all but stopped painting and writing was non-existent. I had given up on all the things I loved and after that created massive limitations for myself.
My self worth had dropped and with that all my plans for the future.
I limited myself to friends with limited minds and dreams for their futures.
I limited myself career wise and chose a path so different for anything I would have imaged. That made me so miserable. I am still in that career but come end of September I have vowed to completely step away even if it means a massive pay cut and instead do something that drives me and I love...because I now see the limitations I set made no sense.
I limited myself when I looked in the mirror and created a distorted version of myself.
I limited myself in dating and always dated or went out with men that I knew, in the end, would hurt me.
I limited myself by running from men who would treat me well, and only now I see, it was because I feared it.
My fears limited me, fears that I never knew when I was young and were total fabrications of the truth created and planted in my head by people who never had my best interest at heart. Then I myself watered those fabrications and allowed the weeds to take over my mind.
We create our limits, not others, yes their words can influence but only if you choose to let them. In the time that I began to change and limit myself was a time where I was very emotionally and mentally weak. I couldn't make any sense out of anything and was struggling everyday. People would comment on my mood constantly or how I never smiled.
But never asked if something was wrong.
It was a hard time and I was someone who was completely different from the child I was.
But through all those times and the hard moments I have learned that the real me is still that little girl who could spend days on end drawing and composing little diddys on the piano. In a strange way I have evolved and became the old me all over again. I am wiser, stronger, and capable of taking anything that is thrown at me. I am twenty-five but in many ways I feel older. Which I am thankful for. I am not naive like I was as a child but I know that when you work for something you can achieve it. A process I am now in the middle of.
I have started painting again.
I have started drawing again.
I bought a new piano book for myself and have been practicing.
I am reading again and clearly writing again.
I have decided to break my limitations.
I have no doubt in my mind that I will continue to check off that list I made as a child. I have no doubt that in one way or another I will be successful in whatever field I chose to go into. I know I can do it.
I only make limitation for myself and in my mind.
There are no limitations.

This not only applies to me of course, it applies to everyone. Too many people set limitations for themselves, often growth stunting and negative limitations. Either because of what others tell them, their own self worth tells them, racial cliches tell them or the media.It seems we have forgotten how to think for ourselves and encourage ourselves. Every last one of us was put here for a reason, it is our job to find that reason in ourselves and go after it...it often seems easier to give up on it but to work towards it and achieve it (or at least try to) will benefit you and your spirit far more then any lame excuse ever will.

Happy September!!!

xoxo
Nicole

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4 comments

  1. Here's an interesting thought to consider. You state that we're all here for a purpose. Likewise, we have no limitations in terms of what we can do. However, what if our own personal limitations were put into place to help guide each person toward their specific life purpose? Just a thought.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That is kind of what I state in my post...I went through difficult moments and those moments in the end gave me the fuel to go after what I want (which were things I new when I was younger) perhaps I was not that clear...but I do not think limitations help guide you. I think until you learn to shake them off and see they are not "real" they only hold you back. They can help you only if you see them for what they are...fabrications.
      Everyone has a different view on things :) this is just my own from personal experience

      Delete
  2. Firstly, You have a really beautiful blog.

    This post sounds all too familiar to me! I liked it, I think we do create our own limits and hold ourselves back.


    http://youmeandscotland.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
  3. Isn't it funny how once you let go of the bs in your life, the stuff that isn't real, you start to become more of the adult you were when you were a child. :P

    Children don't seem to think twice before deciding to be happy, I find that to be more mature than most adults.

    Great Post Nicole!

    I just started to write a blog as I somehow have started to come across blogs like yours, the familiarities between people across the world definitely is comforting.

    Peace!

    Tom

    http://phelanecstatic.blogspot.com.au/

    ReplyDelete

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thelovelytwentysomethings.com is owned and run by Nicola Mora