Singlehood - Date Yourself!


Being single can be great, you can date yourself!

 Now the first time I say this to a friend of mine I am usually met with a arched eyebrow and a snicker because it seems most of my friends are still twelve years old but I would be lying if I said it doesn't make me laugh too but I digress. What I mean by date yourself is that when you are single it is the perfect time to get to know you, just as you would if you were dating someone. You have the opportunity to be free as a bird and do the things you want to do your way, figure out what you really like and do not like without the opinion of your significant other possibly swaying your own. Best of all it is the chance to really learn who you are and what you want out of life. Now often some people I know who are in relationships take this the wrong way, as if I am saying when you are in a relationship you cannot do these things but to get this argument out of the way I am going to say, that is not what I am implying at all. But I am not going to get into that side of the argument because my discussion right now is from the single individuals point of view because many people who are single do not realize what a gift this can be.
Since basically forever people have viewed being single as a bad thing. Women needed (and this is still many peoples point of view) to be married by a certain age or else no one ever would, and men had to be a certain success to get a certain women. Along with many other factors being single started to be viewed as an infliction.
Poor you, you do not have someone to hold you and love must be such a broken/empty/lonely/depressed/lost soul.
Now a while back I had this same outlook, I had been single for awhile and began to think there was something seriously wrong with me. There must have been because getting a date felt like the hardest thing on the planet. I began to think I wasn't pretty enough, smart enough, funny enough, or just in general enough. Of course after slapping myself in the face a few times and taking on a different perspective and outlook on life (also  know as drinking the positive juice everyday) I realized that this mind set is completely ridiculous but very much around us. To be single is a terrible thing and those who are single should feel horrible about it.
And do not worry, you will for sure meet some people in relationships who are more then happy to say comforting phrases that make you want to put a fork in their eye like;
"Do not worry, you will get your turn someday"
"You just need to be patient and stop looking"
"Do not worry you are so amazing you won't have a problem meeting someone"
"Guys/girls are stupid" (I may or may not be quoting a five year can be the judge)
Personally I am very tired of hearing people, not all but many, approach singlehood as if there is no worse thing you can be. I have even had a married woman tell me "I am so sorry to hear that" after she asked if I am married and I said no. Why this sympathy for something that is really not a curse?
It would be easy to blame the media, friends, family, society and all other places opinions can come from but in the end we can decide what singlehood will be for us. Personally after being single for more then a year (I am at two right now) I decided to just say f*** it and enjoy being single. I took it as a chance to be totally free and try to achieve things I have always wanted to do. Rather then think about how single and alone I am (which honestly we are not...they are called friends and family people) I thought about the trips I was going to work towards, the courses I want to take, the DIY projects I would do and the books I wanted to write. As well as trying to achieve the Crow yoga pose without falling on my face...this is in progress... All these things I have been working towards and enjoying every moment because it is all about me.
That is not a selfish thing.
It is very healthy to have things be about you from time to time and being single is the best time to do it.
What is my point?!
I think it has been pretty clear!
If you are single, enjoy it. Make the best of it. Make it work in your benefit because that is what it is. A chance. 
Love with come along when it does, when it is meant to, till then the best thing you can do for yourself is take yourself out for a good time and hang out with your best self. No other person can complete you, to be a whole person on your own is in my opinion the best self you can be.

I could go on for ages with this topic but I would rather it not turn into a rambling mess...

So if you are single do not worry about it. In does not make you any less of a person. yourself! You will never argue on where to eat!

xoxo Nicola

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  1. I never really looked at being single like that until I read this. I am newly single this year after finding out my fiance cheated on me and yes I have often wondered when I will be in another relationship, if that person will cheat on me, what if I am not good enough? But now I see it from your point of view that yeah maybe I should take some time for myself and really focus on who I am and what makes ME happy!

    Thanks <3


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