The Happiness Struggle: Comment Backlash or Cyber Bullying?


'Ello lovelies!

I am not going to lie, when it came to figuring out what to post today I had some bumps in the road. As much as I had ideas I was struggling to put them into words! Though huzzah! I managed to do it and mostly because I had a moment, a moment I often get in the comments section of a article or video. It is the moment where I remind myself why I do not comment in social media and why when you do and you can get your ass handed to you by people you do not know for reasons you do not understand and it can without you knowing it...really stress you out. Crazy right?

So my post today for Tralala Tuesday is going to be another portion of my "The Happiness Struggle" series and the backlash of commenting within the social media.

Let me start off this post by sharing a little story with you. It is short, sweet and basically the reason I always pause because posting in the social media in regards to articles and sometimes even Youtube videos.

Once on a day like any other day I made a comment on a video on Youtube. It was nothing extreme or incredibly offensive, in fact I wrote it in a comedic fashion. It was also a comment that was pretty similar to a few others on the comment section yet within days I found myself getting messages of replies to my comment. Rude, cruel and pretty ridiculous comments. Since I am someone who is as disconnected from negativity as possible I promptly deleted my comment and the messages to avoid getting any others, not because I was embarrassed or "running away" it was simply because the weird stress is gave me by being bombarded by people I did not know (and did not know me) and the words they so easily used towards me that I have never heard directed at me in the "real world".

So what is the point of my story and my post of today? It is simple.

The internet is full of pretty nasty people who seem to have nothing better to do except shoot people down and have arguments hiding behind a computer screen.

In a way you are getting bullied without even realizing it, and as I said it can cause you to stress a bit. Most people do not handle getting name-called and put down well. I am one of those people. I have pride and dignity and when I am insulted it gets on my nerves. I know I am not the only person like this. When you are aiming to live a positive, calm and happy life it means making little mental notes to remind yourself when not to put yourself in a certain position. Everyone knows about cyber bullying among teenagers, young adults or sometimes even children but we seem to forget that adults can do it too...and they do with people often not realizing they are in fact being bullied.

Instead of it being in the workplace, a pub or even on the is through the computer by someone you
do not know who has decided for some reason they dislike your comment to such a degree that they need to insult you with words that cut deep. Especially when they are untrue. I am sure many people have seen these replies to comments where an unnecessary insult or word is used towards the person who posted the comment. I do not know about you but I often wonder to what end is this person thinking that their ability to type a nasty words in a computer and post, what gain are they going to get?

A feeling of power? A feeling of control and satisfaction is making someone feel attacked or hurt?
To what end?
I wish I could tell you exactly what their brain-process is when it comes to making themselves look like a pissy teenager but in the end it is still bullying and I wish more people were aware of this!

Freedom of speech is a powerful thing but insulting someone, putting them down, hurting them and suggesting that they are stupid and only the person commenting is right is not a freedom of speech. It is bullying like any other teenager or child would do except there is a chance it is from a grown adult sitting at their computer with so much negativity in them they use a comment page to release this negativity possibly because they do not have " that power" in their " real" lives.

As much as I sometimes want to say my piece, and I am sure others do (free speech and all) the possible ramifications are really not worth it. Does it change things when I post this comment online? Most likely not but I am someone who is dead set on keeping negative things that can be controlled out of my life and being picked on, online by other adults, is something I really can control to an extent.

When you want to be happy, you need to do your best not put yourself in situations that will most likely hurt you in the end.

Taking chances are great and all, I take them all the time!

But sometimes it is really not worth it.

Does this mean I never comment on things?

No, I do but mostly on Vlogs of people I have followed, or even known, for a while and blogs I believe in.
Other then that I avoid it!

Have you ever commented on something and received insane backlash?

Let me know in the (irony) comment section!

xoxo Nicola

Feel free to check out my Youtube channel, subscribe, share and check out my Instagram @nicolamkiwi

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  1. Loved this article it's so true, and yet sad that there are so many negative people who unfortunately have access to a computer. To my way of thinking a comment no matter if your fore or against the topic in question should always be written in a positive way. There is no need for anyone to be nasty when commenting on any subject, those people just show themselves up as being 'not nice people to know', you certainly would not have them as your friend. The internet would certainly be a richer without them. Better to express love than hate and discord. Thank you Nicola for sharing.

    1. It almost like most of the population on the internet these days are people who are negative/angry.
      I always try to comment in a positive way and avoid comment sections that already have a "fight" going on in them.
      Wish people would take a moment to breath and really consider if they really need to say that nasty thing they are about to write instead of being trigger happy with the Enter button.
      Thank you for your comment Mike!

  2. I completely understand this, Nicole. The funny thing is I am not surprised by the negative comments. The truth: many people are miserable. Let's just call it what it is - misery. And what does misery love? Company. So, the nasty comments are an attempt to make a person feel unloved and insecure. I look around at people and I see a lot of misunderstood pain, anger, unhappiness, and unfulfilled lives. So, what else can you expect to be offered? People can only give you what they choose to promote in their lives.

    Deleting the comment like you did is the best thing, in my opinion. If you give the nastiness attention, it will grow. If you do not, the person or people commenting understand that you don't have room for the negativity and they don't get to "feel good" by igniting an equally negative response from you or by bringing your energy down. And like you said, the Internet is a great way for people to suddenly develop "bravery" that I doubt they have in their day-to-day lives.

    1. Very true, that is why I state that it is very much cyber bullying but people do not seem to see it. They justify it by calling it an argument or "that person was stupid and deserved it" as a retired "miserable person" it is sad to see the internet crawling with people trying to find meaning or bravery in the internet rather then working on their own personal lives if the reason they are so mean is because they are dissatisfy in the real world.

      I feel it is best to just walk away, no explanation needed, when you feel you are being brought down. It is a human right :)

  3. I think a lot of bloggers confuse someone who disagrees with them and the concepts of bullying/negativity. Disagreement can lead to healthy discourse and discussion, which in turn enlightens everyone involved in the interaction. When the conversation devolves into name calling and threats is when that line is crossed. Sadly, I've seen more than my fair share of bloggers respond to a comment that disagrees with them by calling that person a troll and not taking them seriously -- all because they disagree with a post's original point.

    1. Exactly, a discussion is one thing but the moment name calling/put downs/false accusations start to be made it crossed the line from discussion to bullying/being an asshole.
      If people could just accept that not everyone is going to agree with them the internet might turn into a nicer place...but now it is just not worth commenting on things. Like I said I generally only comment on blogs I follow/believe in and Youtube channels of people I know, have followed for a while.


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