Own Your Singlehood: How To Be Single

21:17

Ladies and Gents welcome to another Tralala Tuesday and boy do we have a problem.

The problem seems to be this desperate need to have your worth measured by another person, more specifically a significant other. If I had a dime for everytime I have been in a social setting and seen people craning their necks attempting to hunt down some meat to love them then I would own an island, an army of Scottish Fold Cats and Yorkshire Terriers and have a pyramid built in my honor.

Made only of Ranch flavoured popcorn.

I like to aim high in my goals in life.

Anyways as I was saying, it has come to my attention that men and women seem to feel like less of a person when they do not have someone to call their significant other. To be single is to be looked down on, pitied and overall avoided like the plague but I have got to say as a woman who hasn't had a serious relationship in awhile and has chosen to be single...I do not see what the big problem is! There is something going on these days that I am loving and that is the idea that YOU are the only person you need to make you whole, no one else. Just you. Honestly I love the idea of that way more then scrolling through a list of men online only to hear myself going...

No...

Nope....

Nah....

I need some wine....

The reality is that we are all we need to be happy, to be fulfilled, a whole person and achieve the things we want in life. The idea that we need another person to "complete" us really only leads to many people lost in life when it comes to who they are, what they want and where they want to be because they are too busy trying to find that one person to make them complete and whole. This is coming from someone who used to be desperate to meet someone, meet some guy to make me feel beautiful, smart, wanted and needed but I am happy to say that I have come to realize that is a silly headspace to be in. It took me awhile. As well as some ridiculous neck craning of my own but after choosing to be single and managing to make some wild things happen for myself in the past year I learned that it is true.

All you need is you to be whole.

You are your number one fan, number one love, number one groupie and the only person who will ever know you completely and utterly. You can count on you and you can drive yourself to do amazing things in your life. Sure sometimes you may let yourself down, make a bad choice or do something stupid but you can always pick yourself up without having to search for a hand to hold you up. You have your own spine to hold you up and own mind and heart to tell you what you want. I really believe that when you are single... you should OWN it.

When you have the chance to be single, don't spend it complaining about how much singlehood sucks. How you have no one to do things with (ahem they are called friends people...) and how no one loves you. Singlehood is a time to do whatever you want and really get to know yourself. Own it and make it yours. You can either let being single consume you with negativity, self loathing, low self esteem and envying couples OR here is a thought you could use being single to spend time doing things you want to do... want to try for the first time or just not shave for long periods of time because you can (I totally take advantage of this... not proud to say it but knee down its pretty similar to The Hobbit dwarf legs hair wise. So hot eh)

I can honestly say I enjoy being single.

I love that I have the time to do what I want, I am free to go and do what I please. I have no man to "answer" to. I feel more confident now since deciding to be single by choice then I ever have in any relationship or dating situation. I know myself better, I know what I want and who I am. I am in no way bashing being in a relationship because I am pretty damn fond of them but right now I am gushing about the joys and benefits of being single.

I wish more people could see how amazing being single can be. Being in a relationship is not the be all end all and this is coming from a 25 year old woman.

It is not the end of the world.

I do not want to mislead anyone into thinking that I do not want to be in a relationship ever, on the contrary I very much want a husband, children and a family of my own but I think there is a time and place for everything and it looks like right just is not my time.

No one needs the validation from someone else. No one needs to find their self worth in someone else.
 
You have all those things in our own mind and heart.
 
If you are in a relationship, own it.
 
If you are single, own it.
 
Not one is better then the other but both are gifts and I believe you are those things when you are meant to be. Life has a way of falling into place.





Xoxo
Nicola

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2 comments

  1. Love this! So true! Being single is definitely not a bad thing. It gives you so many opportunities and help you to figure out what you really want and to focus on yourself. Especially being in your 20s; its the prime of your life!

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thelovelytwentysomethings.com is owned and run by Nicola Mora