The Happiness Struggle: Striving For Perfection

20:30

Man has it been a crazy time for me lately and though it has been a week I am back with a new Tralala Tuesday post which also happens to be a new post for The Happiness Struggle series I have been sharing with all you lovely readers. Thank you for your patience and without further ado here is the new post!

In our world we are conflicted with two different and often used phrases;
 
Practice makes perfect
 
No one is perfect
 
Only a little bit of a mixed messages thing going on there eh?

In the world we live in we have many expectations thrown at us and this need to be what we perceive or others believe is perfection. But really what is perfection?

For the generation I live in as well as the younger generation perfection seems to be obtained once you have checked off the boxes in some of these categories.

  • Have your life figured out by your early twenties
  • Be on your way to marriage or already married
  • A great car
  • A great home
  • Money, money and more money
  • Vacations all the time… which are extensively shared on social media
  •  Brand name everything
  •  A fit model-esque body
  • A equally hot partner
  • No flaws. Flaws are bad things and no one should have them.
 
Of course this is a pretty general if not superficial list but I am sure most of us can relate and nod our heads at one or two, if not the whole list. Perfection is viewed more with what you own and how your love life is then the things you have done, charities you are a part of, the hobbies you keep and the words you speak but in the end of the line there is no such thing as perfection and yet we chase it.

Like chasing Hogwarts or Middle Earth we are chasing a fictional thing that we will never touch and experience because it is not real.
 
Perfection is not real though for arguments sake you can say it is in the eye of the beholder but that is a whole other discussion.
 
In the end no one is perfect and that is something that we as people need to get into our heads. There is no perfect spouse or significant other, there is no perfect place to live or job to have. Everything has its flaws, its ups and downs and moments of weakness. Sure in our minds where we are, whom we are with or what we are doing is perfect but that does not mean it does no have its stresses though this is what people believe. That things that are perfect are always smooth running. Always safe and always sound but the reality is this is not the case so when bumps in the road do come up in someone's perfect whatever they panic.

They rant, they rave and accuse about how imperfect their life suddenly is and how it is so unfair as well how this "always happens to them".

Perfection is a completely unrealistic ideal that we as humans have. It can prompt us to make bad choices, visit a plastic surgeon a few too many times, hang with a negative crowd and do things that normally we would not do but because we want to be perfect we will do what we need to do to achieve this. Whatever the cost. Writing this it is clear that to strive for perfection is to place a ridiculous amount of pressure upon yourself and those around you. The stress that this would cause is substantial and in the end a person can never be happy because a person can never achieve perfection.

You cannot become something that is not real.

As much as I would love to be a special person with superpowers and possibly a Hogwarts diploma it is just not happening. To chase something like perfection is to put yourself down a negative road where you and the things around you will never be enough. I would much rather be myself as I am, quirks and all, and chase a life of positivity, happiness, calm and wellness where I can say I have chased my dreams whether or not I ended upon achieving them rather then attempt to perfect everything around me because in life the flaws and bumps that happen are lessons which come along to help us get to where we need to get to whether it is emotionally, physically, mentally or all of the above.

It is very hard to be happy when all you are doing is trying to be perfect. You will only always be disappointed with the outcome of things.

In life is it best to try to be the best you that you can be. Pave a life for yourself that makes you happy and not others. Do things that energize you and brings you joy. Do not attempt to make a life that is based off of a superficial and pressured checklist that was ordained by who-even-knows?

Life is something that you have control over when it comes to your wants and needs. I used to think I had to follow a silly list of executions for the perfect life in my twenties and have come to realize that it is total bullocks but there are still plenty of men and women out there who take this list it is 100% the only way.

Here is a little secret for you.... there is not only one path in life that suits us all.

We all have our own dreams, wants, wills and needs that may not fit into that perfect plan in our twenties. Perhaps a few of those items do but to expect to have all those things in a time of your life where realistically you are still figuring things out is unrealistic. Take the path that fits you, even if it is a path never taken by anyone in your family or that you know, even if they cannot wrap their minds around it (because trust me you will encounter this) take that path because that path was meant for you. Perfection is something I wish people, society and the media would just remove from their dictionaries. It belongs amoung the myths and legends on ancient times.... whispered but not believed.

Perfect is something I will never be and I am totally content with that.

I would rather have my flaws and my adventures then boxes checked off and my spirit wanting something else.

Xoxo
Nicola

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1 comments

  1. Hi Nicole been reading your articles since I caught one on Google+. I myself started a new path for myself a few years ago and see on your blog a lot of the same things I went through. It's nice to see someone else find their path. Keep on being awesome because you definitely are and keep the blogs coming.

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thelovelytwentysomethings.com is owned and run by Nicola Mora