What Happens When You Accept Yourself

09:24

We live in a world of self-loathing and self deprecation. That much is clear and I have written about this topic a number of times but because this is such a major issue I believe that it needs to be reinforced over and over again. This is such a major problem and what is worse is that unlike what many people believe it is not limited to only young people.

Older and wiser people also feel this. This feeling of "not being good enough" or "worthy enough".

The thing is that, you are enough. You as who you are, are good enough and deserving of all good things that come your way or are waiting for you. We have this perception that we need to be perfection defined, but because we will never be this because no one can be we feel less worthy, less intelligent, less attractive just overall we feel like less then anyone else.

This is a struggle and a way of thinking that makes life very hard to get through when you feel like all you are is trudging through the world, undeserving to be there. We envy others because others have it all, or so we think. We become cynical and jaded, two things that personally drive me up the wall. I have been both and looking back...it feel like a dingus about it.


The thing is this thinking can be changed and it is as simple and as hard, as doing one thing;

Accepting yourself.

You are you because that is who you were meant to be. You were not meant to be anyone else but the person that you are and that is a gift to mankind. 

Why Do We Need To Accept Ourselves

The thing is you will never be anyone else other then who you are and to love and accept yourself will make you feel more amazing then any compliment from a stranger ever could. There is a line from Perks of Being a Wallflower "we accept the love we think we deserve". When you love and accept yourself you will attract the same level of love from others, whether it is friends or a lover. If you hate and loath yourself you will more likely attract those kinds of emotions towards yourself.

How To Accept Yourself

There is no magic trick to learning to accept yourself. No short-cut or EASY button to making it happen. Though at the same time it is very simple.

There is nothing wrong with who you are.

Once you accept this, you with all your flaws and talents, your good days and your bad. You opinions and your objections and realize that all these things make you, you. Those physical imperfections and perfections that you have make up who you are. It is also to do with your thoughts on others and the accepting that no everyone is going to like the sames things you do, or agree with you on all topics. I prefer running, others hate it. I like listening to Classical music and chill tunes, others rock out to Justin Beiber. I prefer wearing little makeup which some love layering it on. I do not care for books that are really heavy in topics while some thrive off of them, this does not make me less intelligent. Some girls have the rock hard beach bodies, I like pastries too much to get to that level. Not everyone can or will look like a Victoria Secret Model. Hell even Victoria Secret models don't look like themselves.

Basically, there is nothing wrong with you in anyway, you are the way you are because that is how you were meant to be and to embrace that will give you so much inner strength I cannot even tell you.

What Changes When You Accept Yourself

I am going to share some personal expriences when it comes to accepting yourself. For a number of years I was very self-depricating and never felt good enough. I was never smart enough, clever enough, pretty enough or appealing enough. I had a very unhealthy inner dialoge that took over any bit of common sense I used to have. I tried so hard to make myself feel better through how much makeup I wore, doing my hair, trying to be a different person from the one that I was and in a way I was always apologizing for just being myself. I would not share my own opinions and thoughts, instead I would just agreed with others. Even if I was really against it.

That changed after I came back from a disastrous move to a new city.

I remember the day I had enough was like any other day. I got home from work, stood in my empty apartment upset and angry again except this time I was 100% over feeling like that. I went to the book store, bought myself a self-love book (which I used to make fun of because I thought they are so lame and I was just too cool for that) bought a ticket to go back and within two weeks of getting that book I moved home and started to really work on myself. Then came the day when I realized I had really begun to accept myself.

I was the day I started this blog. I was just sitting at home one day not doing anything glamorous. I am pretty sure my hair was greasy in a messy bun and I was wearing a old crew neck sweatshirt. But that day I was sitting in my room when I realized how far I had come and how the inner dialogue was almost non-existent. Around this time I started being completely comfortable walking around with no makeup, I was no longer bending to other's opinions, I now had a healthy circle of friends and was planning a big trip in the fall. I was different and I felt different, in the most amazing way. I no longer cared what other people owned or worn and accepted who I was, as a person.

With that my thoughts on success changed, to me success used to always be lots of money and a hot man on my arm but now I have realized everyone has their own views on what success is and mine is knowing that I chased my dreams and will keep chasing them. My success is not a amount of anything, it is a feeling of bliss. 

It is in the travels I do and the accomplishments I have made for myself. 

That is why I would encourage anyone to travel or strive after your dreams - you have those wants for a reason. For years I wanted to be a travel blogger but I am 100% happy now in being a wellness and lifestyle blogger and sharing my thoughts and experiences with others in the course of following your dreams. As I always say, if I can help even one person then I have done what I intended to do with this blog!

This is not something they teach in school and I wish they did.

What changes when you accept yourself?

Everything.

The best person you can be is yourself


Xoxo
Nicola


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4 comments

  1. This blog really hit a heart string Nicola! Thank you :D

    I read a few wellness blogs because like minded people fuel my happiness. What's incredible is that each of these bloggers (including myself) has had that "moment" - you've described it so well!!! It's like everything changed - but everything is still the same.

    We have to give it a name! that's not "enlightenment" :P

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Your welcome!
      Yes I think the word enlightenment is a good one but not necessarily the *right* one
      Perhaps self-aware, as in you know who you are, what you want, what you believe in. Your morals and your triggers. ect...

      I worked at making sure I was able to describe this properly

      Delete
  2. I love this! It's something I've been trying to explain to so many of my friends for years. I'm not saying that I'm totally enlightened- god knows, I'm always finding something I'd like to change, or something I loathe about myself. I consider myself a huge work in progress and I'm not sure I'll ever get to the end of it. But, I figure so long as I'm working on it, i'm doing something positive.

    One thing I absolutely will not tolerate from my friends is hearing them talk poorly about themselves. I try to constantly encourage them, tell them how beautiful and amazing they are, and remind them that myself and others love them exactly how they are- warts and all. Sometimes, we just need a little reminder that we're our own worst critic.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I think none of us are every truly "enlightened" because we are always growing and changing as people! I think to consider yourself a work in progress is a good thing :) means you are always willing and ready to improve, take on new challenges and open to things.

      I know what you mean about friends taking themselves down, I have a couple who do that constantly and the truth is no matter how much we may try to bring them up and remind them how amazing they are. In the end they need to see that in themselves!
      We really are our own worst critics!

      Delete

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thelovelytwentysomethings.com is owned and run by Nicola Mora