Know When to Say No

11:39

Hello Lovelies!

Welcome back to Tralala Tuesday and I am back with a positive post for all of you! It has been awhile since I have posted one so I am happy to finally hop back into it.

Now onto the post!

It is a YES World

We live in a very yes world these days, people expect you to do as they like and walk to the beat of their own drum. Around us people are expecting things to be given to them because they want it and for people to be more then ready to bend over backwards to do what they ask for.
We now live in a world where the word No is almost a dirty word. A word no one should utter in fear of offending someone else and bringing upon their wrath... oh that horrible wrath. Nothing worse then a glare from someone you say no to right?

*shudder*

When some asks a favor we are expected to say yes, even if it means we need to totally readjust our own schedules.

When work asks us to stay late for the fifth day in a row, we are expected to say yes or we are a unfit employee. Around us when we are asked of things we are expected to say yes. No questions asked. Many parents are still deciding whom their childen will date, what they will study in school and how their lives should play out. Many people still allow friends to rule what they wear, who is cool, where they should go out and who they should be.

To say no has become almost like an insult.

Which in turn results in becoming an insult that we want to do as we want.
Want to be who we want to be.

I used to be a very yes person. I let my friends lead me in whatever direction they wanted and I let a parent tear me down. I said yes because I thought that to say no would hurt their feelings and make
them hate me. Which funnily enough in retrospect made me feel broken down and resentful of myself and them. We as people need to learn that to say no is our right! We are in no way programmed to just do what others say at the snap of a finger.

We were born free. Not as obedient robots.

No matter how cute those robots may be....

Saying No Makes You The Bad Guy

A false view on people who can and do say no is that they are selfish or even agressive because they know what they want and what they will and will not do. In my eyes this trait is a strong one to have, one that can only work in someone's favor because that does not mean the person is a "no person" it just means they know how to say no and can choose when to say yes.

I have met many people who in relationships, whether with a significant other, parent, friend, co-worker or manager, would only say yes and now looking back they can see where they went wrong. They ended up being walked on like a doormate, made to constantly feel guilted into things or when they said no made to feel horrible about it, eventually prompting them to give in and say yes rather then standing behind their no.

Now I am not saying only say no to any favour asked of you.

I am saying know when to say no.

Saying no does not make you a bad friend, employee, or person. It does not make you selfish or self centered.

It just means you are human.

Learn To Say No

If you are a person who can say "Ya I usually never say no... and it sucks" now is the time to start turning that around. Ignore the guilt tripping or side glares because you decide to not say yes for once. If you are someone who always says yes and rarely utters no you can be sure to get some negative or surprised reactions from people, especially those who are used to you saying yes because when you start saying no... most will not like it.

They will not like it because you are changing into a person that is better for your health.
Not someone that makes their life that much easier because they know they will always be able to bend your arm in someway to get what they want and when they cannot anymore they will being in the guilt or aggression.

Just ignore it!

This is about you!

And there is nothing wrong with doing something for yourself.

You and your right to live your own life on your terms and saying no when you want and yes when you want. There is no ten-step program to learning how to say no, you just have to start saying it. Just let it roll off your tongue and let the word do the work! Honestly no is one of my favorite words.

I say plenty of yes's because I like being there for others and helping them, I like that when I can and want I will say yes but no is my favorite because it shows that sometimes I can't help and have to put my foot down. The friends I have now are used to it, they are not shocked when I say no to something instead they just roll with it because they are the same kind of people.

People who love saying yes when they can, but can say no when they need to.

Now try it out yourself;

No.
 
No no no.
 
NO!

 
It starts to feel pretty good after a while... trust me.

Xoxo
Nicola

Feel free to find me on YouTube and check out my channel, subscribe and follow my Instagram at lovely20somethings

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2 comments

  1. Interesting take here. I wouldn't have expected a positivity post to be encouraging someone to say no. With that said, I get the point behind it, and it makes a lot of sense. I know that I personally get caught in the cycle of saying yes to everything I can because I love helping...only for those very same yes responses to keep me from getting to what I need to do. It's a nice change to be able to say no once in a while.

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