The Happiness Struggle: Expectations VS Reality

22:56

So it has been a while since I have posted anything new in my "The Happiness Struggle" series and I figured it was due time that I did. On a Tuesday...like the good old days! Now I wanted to share my thoughts on something that is pretty prevalent in our day in age, especially with social media being so very much at the helm of the lives of many younger people, not only younger, but mostly. What I am talking about is the expectations people have for themselves and their lives, and how these expectations rarely turn out how we want them...because that is just life. Reality is not being a bitch, it is really just sending you in a different directions.

So let's hop to it shall we?

Now straight up I am going to share that I do spend a decent amount of time on Instagram, I like that with this app I can share positive thoughts and just things I feel other twenty-somethings would enjoy or relate to but there is a side to it that picks at people's expectations for themselves and their lives. This is not just in Instagram of course (which is apparently my bae at the moment) I am also referring to sites like Tumblr or even Facebook where the lives of other people maybe become goals for yourself or worse ideals that you compare your own life to.

When you are on these types of social medias it won't take long to find pictures or posts that could send someone's insecurities into a tizzy. Fitness expectations, money expectations, fashion expectations and where-you-should-be-in-life expectations. All of these unhealthy and all of them screwing with a person's mind. It is easy to stumble across photos of men and women in peak physical condition that can make you look at your own body and go...well then thats unfortunate.

Or the homes people lives in, clothes they are wearing, adventures they are going on and even more things that can make a person drool in jealously and envy, prompting them to loath their own lives because they think that what they are seeing in these posts and photos is the norm.


Well unfortunately for many of us, it is not, but that does not mean the one's life is less amazing. The
harsh fact is that reality rarely matches expectations. You rarely get married at the age you tell yourself that you will be...because that works (24 has come and gone for me...sorry 17 year old me, I've let us down) ((just kidding)), you rarely get that job right out of college that you have dreamed about, in fact it may just take you a few years instead to get it, or you won't even get it period and instead go down a totally different path. There are so many examples I could use it is ridiculous but the fact of the matter is, expectations shouldn't be the be all end all or prompting solely by the envy you feel looking at another person's life.

It should come from your own dreams and aspirations.

You "expectations" should actually be transformed into something far more healthy.

Goals.

Because goals are realistic, no matter how far fetched they may sound. I am sure many people who have achieved their goals whether they were to become Oscar winning actors or walk on the moon were told otherwise. But we as people thrive on goals...goals push us and make us passionate. Expectations stress us out and when they blow up in our faces we rarely react in a mature and positive fashion. Tantrums or self loathing are usually what follows.

So do yourself a favour, don't let those posts or photos you see make your own life look morbidly unfair. Enjoy them instead and set goals for yourself.
It is all about putting it into perspective.




xoxo

Nicola

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1 comments

  1. Hey, Website's looking great!

    I've totally missed these posts! I just got back from a camping trip to a local Island (spring here in Aus ;) ) and this exact topic came up among us blokes. For some the clash between expectations and reality may be a strong foundation of anxiety and depression.

    This rabbit hole is deep, whether it's derived from unhealthy paradigms, universities advertising misleading job perspectives or instagram photos, I agree, it's definitely a challenge to keeping a strong perspective in life.

    hahaha you can tell your 17 yo self that you're too happy to get married :P

    ReplyDelete

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thelovelytwentysomethings.com is owned and run by Nicola Mora