Compliments VS Silence

17:32

Hello inspiring people!

Now I know I said I would have a new "Happiness Struggle Series" post up yesterday but instead it is being posted today! Unfortunately I had an upsetting situation happen right in the morning yesterday involving myself having a front row seat to watching a pedestrian get nailed by a car on my way to school. Needless to say it left me shaken, unable to focused and worried for the poor woman so writing a post just was not in the cards. So instead it is happening today.


With the "Happiness Struggle Series" post I am sharing today I wanted to draw people attention to something I have noticed for many years and has always confused me. The lack of compliments being given to people and the silence that is given instead. Now I do not need to tell you that the world we live in is riddled in insecurities that are only increased by the media, general interactions and social media. Considering most of us are aware of this you would think that perhaps a bigger effort would be made to help people feel better about themselves or more secure in themselves but instead it seems there is a resounding silence.

Now I am not saying that people never compliment each other, but I have noticed that silence outweighs compliments and often at the most obvious moments.

SILENCE: A CUTTING KNIFE

There are moments where sometimes a compliment does not feel right.

Maybe it would be a false compliment and rather then lie an individual would rather keep their mouth shut, but that is not the kind of silence I am talking about, a "truthful silence" I suppose. I am more talking about when silence is given instead of a compliment because the person themselves feel negatively and instead of giving "credit when credit is due" they would rather be quiet, and not acknowledge something someone has achieved or even that someone may be attractive (which by the way is not a crime and neither is being less attractive because we are all beautiful in our own way...and yes...you can go gag now from my overly sweet sentiment).

I would love to think that people who do this do not realize that silence can cut like a knife but there are for sure people who are fully aware that their silence will hurt the person, so they do it. But what is the point?

It is not healthy for either person in the end, in the end both feel hurt in some way where one is self inflicted and the other is hurt by the silence.

I really do believe in the mentality that when you do well unto others you are going to feel better in return. So give that compliment, put your own thoughts and insecurities aside and allow another person to feel good about themselves, you never know how much they may need it in that very moment.

SPREAD IT LIKE PEANUT BUTTER. ALL OVER.

If there is one thing I always try to do when I see someone is to compliment them. Whether it is something they are wearing, something I know they achieved or that they hair just looks really good that day, I do it. I noticed over the past couple years I have made an effort to do this that people really love it...because it does not happen often. My girlfriends often tell me how nice it is to be complimented because it is not a common thing to have happen to them, not because they don't deserve it but because it just doesn't happen. But not only do they feel good when they get a compliment, I also feel good about it because I can tell it has a positive effect on myself and them.

It is like spreading the love around, which is always a good thing.

Hell I even do it to strangers when a moment comes along. Compliments can brighten anyone's day.

IF SOMEONE LOOKS GOOD...

Then just tell them.

Never let your own insecurities hold you back from being able to give a compliment or RECEIVE a compliment. To compliment someone's appearance is not a vain thing...neither is accepting a physical compliment from someone else. It does not make you vain.

The reality is people like to look good, and they like to be told they look good. If it makes someone feel even 5% more confident that day its a good thing.

SOME LAST WORDS...

I am going to just straight up say sorry if this post feels somewhat all over the place. I am still somewhat muddled up and drowning under homework with the midterms looming in the distance... I swear they are cackling at me and drumming their fingers together in a very Mr. Burns way...

The fact of the matter is that all I am trying to stress in the end is to spread that love around and compliment others.

xoxo
Nicola

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thelovelytwentysomethings.com is owned and run by Nicola Mora